What do u firmly grasp and stroke until u can't go any longer? A shakeweight....

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Why did rachels computer break ? Because she was using it in the road and got hit by a bus

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Why did the man eat his own shoe? Because it was a tissue box.

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Why did the scientist go to the hospital? because he was experimenting with dangerous chemicals, and they exploded in his unsuspecting face. He doesn't have skin now.

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i was quite upset when my girlfriend called me a peodifile, what does she know, shes only 6.

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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A Jew with a boner runs into a wall, what hits first? His nose

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Gary.

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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Crime in a hen house. All hens killed. Police found the suspected fox quickly and asked him if he have done it. No - he said. But it was him.

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ask me if im a fence are you a fence WALNUTS!

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I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

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A woman walked into a college.....which wasn't suprising because she never learned to read

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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A Jew, black person, and Mexican jump out of a plane, which one falls first? Who cares they all died

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Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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I admit I don't know what the future holds, but one thing I know for sure is that... Lance Armstrong has only one ball.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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