A man walks in to a bar, Has a drink, and leaves.

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How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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Tim: Ya know what was wondering? Paul: What? Tim: Actually, I'm not wondering about it anymore.

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How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

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Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

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A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

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what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

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"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

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Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

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whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

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Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

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whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

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What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys. The owner of a basketball team

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Why did little polly fall off her her roof? Because she saw a ice-cream van

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

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Some people devote their to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

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What do you call a Mexican that crossed the border. An Illegal Immigrant.

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A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

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Why didn't Tyron run from the police? He had no legs.

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple This joke

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You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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