How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I have read the terms and conditions

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats worse than a paper cut? getting your head chopped off

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why arent guys and girls the same? Cause there different

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do u call a man who sells hot dogs on the street? A Mexican

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock-knock jokes with sjws: Knock knock! Who's there? A transgender! A transgender who? WOW. It's 2016, people. If you can't recognize a transgender, you're a disgusting piece of cis white male scum! OH! OHH! "I'm sorry lady"? Do I LOOK like a lady to you? I'm a- no- sir- stop interrupting me. SIR! I identify as a gender fluid demisexual! "What does that matter?" Oh my god. Well it wouldn't matter if I identified as a goddamn piece of salami to you would it??? Huh? I'm confusing you? WOW! What a priveleged- oh! So I'M being rude? OKAY! FINE! I'm recording this you know. You're going ALL over the Internet. Oh yes you are! No, hey, my privilege cam! You just took it this is rape! You are assaulting me! Don't just shove it back into my hands like that! I call patriarchy! Oh no, I'm not done with you! Don't you close that door you Goddamn piece of sh- *slam*

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why is that man such a perv? I don't know. Ever since I let him see my boobs, he has had this undying obsession with sex. So, I guess that, as society would classify him, he is a sex addict. He will do anything for it, even if he needs a man to get it. I feel terrible about starting his obsession, and plan to take him to therapy next week for the sake of his health.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Ashton Kutcher meets a fine cougar at a bar and the cougar fatally wounded his throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I went to the opticians to get my eyes checked. The optician said "you need glasses".

thumb_up thumb_down -1

,Do you know what hapened to the janitor who cleaned the school halls? He finished the job, got paid a reasonable amount and went home to his average family.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what's worse than being hiv+? having full blown aids.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Shes got a big booty so I call her by her first name, women deserve respect.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Ahmed walks into Abbar. He apologized and they both continued about their jobs as sales assistants at Pottery Barn.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you confuse a blond? Paint your self green and throw forks at her.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Michael Jackson become white? Because he likes to molest children.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops