If you say "Hi" to every tree you pass, is that being environmentally friendly?

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how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

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What's worse than hitting your funny bone? Nothing

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your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

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What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Adeeeellllleeeee where are my shorts

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After going at it for several minutes, the teenager, with a big grin in his face, finally busted a nut during Thanksgiving dinner and was able to remove the walnut from its shell and enjoy it.

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What did the gym coach tell his student? Come on! You can do it! Push harder!

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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A black guy, a Jew and a Mexican walked into a bar...so I didn't....not because of their race but because I had already spent all of my money at the gay bar.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Im a Jew, Fart yourself.

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What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

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What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

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Why did the man lose the spelling bee? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

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Why did the cookie go to the doctors? It didn't because cookies are Inanimate and are incapable of mobility

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A man walks into a bar, and then a second man walks into a bar. The third man ducked.

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Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

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If you could eliminate one thing in your life, what would it be ? My ex.

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Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

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What do you call a black man running faster than a white man? Usain Bolt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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