What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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yo momma so fat, Bob's furniture store is having a sale on wednesday at 5:00.

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Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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why did the computer monitor stop working? Becasue it has a date with a slice of cheese.

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So a Buddhist said, "YOLO." ._.

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Why did the man lose the a race? 'Cause he has no legs

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Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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Q. Whats red and smells like blue paint? A. Wheres my tractor?

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Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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whats worse than finding a joke in a cracker? finding an anti joke in a cracker.

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5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

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Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1...Kaboom!

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How did bill lose his legs he got them amputated after contracting a severe case of "INeedToGetMyLegsAmputatedSyndrome"

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Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

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Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

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How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One

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TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

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why did the black man shoot himself? because he commited a crime and was sorry for what he had done

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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how do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family

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Uh... No? Listen, the other 2 people that bother using this "site" (excuse for one) would not give a damn, and if some world government are after us they wont find shit. What? If I said no you would hack this site? My mother can hack this site, thats what makes it so useful for us... SO PLEASE DO NOT TELL EEEEEEEEEVERYONE THAT MY MORALS AND SHIT ARE ALL CODES THAT NOBODY HAS THE BRAIN TO DECODE PLEASE <<<<<<<<< *Sarcasm detector goes off* Seriously though, nah, dont hack nor delete anything, I kinda like how I got some thumbs ups on the comment section where I shared about my mother finally dying and me feeling the world against me great etc blahblah, "Erica" and "Wizard" thumbed those up and are now with us (seriously Wizard? Geek somebody?)

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Think of a number 1-10 Now add 39 Divide that by 20 Subtract two Now close your eyes.. Dark isn't it?

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Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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