Whats red and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket Whats blue and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

Q: Why didn't Dwight D. Eisenhower play with the silly putty? A: Because he's dead.

Q: what did the old man do to the little boy in his dark cellar while babysitting on a stormy night? A: told him to hold a flashlight because the power went out and he needed to find his electric generator.

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

Chuck Norris farted and... several people looked around uncomfortably, not knowing how to react to the embarrassing situation.

A hairy monster walks into a bar. It was halloween.

Q. How can you tell if a snake bites? A. It depends on if he walks to school or carries his lunch.

If the shoe fits....... its probably your size.

Whats worse than getting an "F" on a test? Stage diving with a kilt on.

A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

a charmander decided to take a swim a.w. j.p.

Your'e probably not going to laugh at this joke, it wasn't made to be funny

1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

What happened to the lady living in the present, crossing a street? Let's watch her and find out.

What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Why did Julia fall of the swings? She had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Julia.

What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

Why did the boy cry after baseball practice? He was molested by his coach.

why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...