An Asian girl is playing with a rubber band. She accidentally slings it into her eye, cries, and receives immediate attention from her mother.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: 'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.' Watson says: 'Someboby stole our tent.' Holmes and Watson look at each other, shrug and go back to sleep. At least the thief kept their blankets.

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An English man, a German man and a Canadian man stood on the edge of a cliff. The English and German both jump off. What happens then? The Canadian says "they were serious?!" and runs away to fake his death and live the rest of his life as Frank Brown.

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What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

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Why can't you fit 100 oranges in a bathtub? Because motorcycles don't have doors

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A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

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What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

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Why didn't the man get into Harvard? Because he had bad grades

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i get knocked down, but i don't get up again. my leg is broken and therefore makes it extremely difficult for me to stand up on my own.

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Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

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why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know either.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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What do you call a person who kills there own child? Casey Anthony.

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how do you kill a blond? there are many ways but every one of them is illegal and could be criminally chargeable.

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What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Immobile.

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

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What do you call a man who's arms have been amputated? It doesn't matter, he won't be able to pick up the phone.

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How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

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What did the coin said when it got flipped ? Nothing, coins do not have sufficient requirements to be able to talk like we humans do.

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Whats red and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket Whats blue and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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