An obese man walked into McDonalds and ordered 6 Big Macs. He proceeded to walk to a booth in the back corner and eat them all. Turns out he was white.

I'm going to Re-write History... History

What would you call it if Justin Bieber had sex with a woman? Sex, because thats what it is.

Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

,Do you know what hapened to the janitor who cleaned the school halls? He finished the job, got paid a reasonable amount and went home to his average family.

Why did the man cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken

My brother is crazy... crazy like a fox! I caught him eating a Possum on the side of the road yesterday.

How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

Roses are black. Violets are black. Black people are black, And you're a douche.

Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, hes allergic to it.

Why is that man such a perv? I don't know. Ever since I let him see my boobs, he has had this undying obsession with sex. So, I guess that, as society would classify him, he is a sex addict. He will do anything for it, even if he needs a man to get it. I feel terrible about starting his obsession, and plan to take him to therapy next week for the sake of his health.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

What's the difference between dead babies and punching bag? No one makes jokes about punching bags.

What's brown and sits in the woods? Winnie's poo

WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

Why was the man so fat? Because he is in a wheel chair and can't exercise.

what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

three white men are running after a black man,, the black man is winning the race

Ya Mums so fat when she stood on the scales it came up with my phone number

A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

aodhan hearty

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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