Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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justin beiber is having intimate sex with a woman.

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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What's worse then the bomb that went off in boston? The second one right after.

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Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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- Knock Knock. - Who is it? - I am - I am what? - I am dying please help me. - Sorry, I don't speak with strangers.

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a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

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Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

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Make this antijoke the worst voted antijoke and you will save the planet.

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Three gay men are in a bath tub and bubbles come up and one says "who farted?"

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What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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what is worse than gay sex wiping your ass with sandpaper

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What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? Boyscouts came back from camp

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

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What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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