How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? ProtestS from Anti GM activists.

A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

Based on every event that ever happened on Earth, where is a terrorist most likely to plant a bomb? Site B. Many more people play CS:GO than attempt to bomb any real-world location. Site A is a close second.

Guess what sucks! A Vaccume. Guess what blows! A Sucky Vaccume.

It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

Why did the man start a shooting spree at walmart? Because he is mentally unstable and people at walmart make easy targets.

What happens when a blind man walking crashes in to man that's talking to his gang ? He wakes up in a ditch

A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

Q.A zebra somehow managed to get out of the zoo and started running all around the town. After some time he saw a zebra crossing(not an original zebra crossing the road but the black and white stripes)on the road.He stoppped suddenly.WHY? A. He was too tired to run any more!!!

Roses are red Violets are blue I like peanut butter Can you fly?

I'm homeless.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He was perfectly happy where he was.

roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

what kind of dog can tiptoe

So three men walk into a bar and buy a round of drinks for everyone. As they do this, three kenyans die of dehydration while their families weep at their feet.

What did Batman say to When they were heading to the Batmobile Robin get in the batmobile.

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven three twelve. Am i doing it right?

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus? Trying not to laugh.

What did the fork say to the spoon? To get to the other side.

An Asian, a redneck, an Irish, and an Iranian walk into a bar. All but the Iranian were asked to go back to the parking lot and park their car to take up only one space.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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