If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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Haunnaka in 1940's Germany. six thousand people die. in one minute.

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Cat ate a battery, did volts.

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Whites black white and red all over? The nazi flag.

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Why was the little girl crying in the woods at night? There was psychotic killer chasing her with a chainsaw.

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An over weight naked black guy walks into a bank and says "give me all your money!"

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A russian gives away vodka.

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What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

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What did one door say to the other door? Nothing, cause doors don't talk.

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Why do teens say "dude?" They feel unloved at home and must know that they posses a strong relationship with their peers, and in fact, cannot maintain a proper friendship due to the four letter word known as "dude."

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One day there was 2 black guys in hoodys with knives in there hand. They tapped me on the shoulder and took my groceries. They then made me a jam sandwich and went on there way

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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knock knock. whos there? the IRS you have recently filed for bankruptcy and we are repossessing your house.

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roses are red , thankyou for stating that , i can now continue with gardening as it is my profession.

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How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

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Who the hell is Femi Otedola?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

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Me: Hey Chris! Chris: WTF.u.c.k

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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96 right now there mad at each other but pretty soon it will look like this 69

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Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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