Knock Knock Who's there It's me open the door

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A guy punched himself. He then said ouch.

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Q: Suzy loves apples, she will do anything to get her hands on an apple. Why didn't she eat Tom's apple? A: She ate someone elses apple and then he killed her before she could get to tom's!!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice t*ts

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Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

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What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

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What is Sally's favorite flavor ice cream? She can't eat ice cream, she's lacktose and tollerant.

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

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On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because chad makes babies cry.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay boys house. Knock knock! whose there? The chicken!!

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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Q: a man in a camry runs over his wife. who's fault is it? A: toyota and their breaks.

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A duck walks into a bar. Then he walks out.

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I guess calling you dear was a bit overboard for you huh? Well, just promise me you will get whatever help you need if you get ill.

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whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

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Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

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How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

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Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

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Knock knock. Who's there? IRS. Youre being audited, Sir.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops