What's worse than seeing Charlie sheen in a Turkish bath house? Watching the direct tv commercial for the 100th time today

What is brown and green and goes 100 mph? A tree falling down on your house.

What do an onion and a hamster have in common? They are both in my Grandma's omelette.

Q: Why did the purple cantalope eat the curtains at midnight? A: Sassafrass.

why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

what looks like a sock and goes on peoples feet? A sock

Knock knock. Who's there? Jack. Honey, Jacks here, will you get the door?

theres a straight guy, a gay guy ,and a jew the weird part is the straight guy hits on the jew and the gay guy which make the situation all akward.

What's Worse Than Falling Over? .......Rape.

Man: Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains........ Doctor: You clearly have Alarming mental issues perhaps a psychologist would be the right person to discuss this matter further

knock knock. who's there? just open. just open who? you're really dumb aren't you

12/23/2012

Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour.

Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

Hi I'm makena. I'm a cynical asshole

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a loaf of bread.

Q-Why did the man fall out of the behemoth A- he had no legs

A redhead and a blonde both go out to smoke a cigarette. They are both at risk of lung cancer.

what do you call 4 black people pushing a car uphill? unfortunate

How do five gay guys walk? In One Direction: data:image/jpeg;base64,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

What time is it when an elephant jumps over your fence? Actually, elephants don't jump.

What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it, they aren't going to come.

What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

Q: How to make a man who suffers from hypochondria want to kill himself? A: You take a shet on his face.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...