Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

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Knock knock Who's there? Banana? Knock knock Who's there? Banana Knock knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you glad you don't have cancer?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS

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an emo girl walked into a white room

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why did the chicken cross the road because it wanted to get hit by a car

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

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Roses are red They can be white too Violets are not blue They are violet

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2 men walk into a bar without thier shirts. They get kicked out. 2 women walk into a bar without thier shirts They got beaten almost to death Why? The men dressed up as women, and every hated them so much they beat the almost to death when 2 cops walk into that bar, see the men dressed up as women and they too beat them. Little do they all know that the men disguised as women are really secret goverment agents looking into a drug deal. The drug dealers got away and now we have 2 people sueing the police department and drugs on the street again. Oh yeah I almost forgot: I made this up so if you read it you're going to die withing the next 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 years. I gurantee it. If you dont the men in white coats are going to do extremely painful tests on you and you just might die so then no one will care and maybe get onto thier lives again. Why did I right this? It hasnt happened to me so I dont know If you tell me I will give you something more valueble than gold. Want to know what it is? TELL ME FIRST!!!!

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? "How much?! No thanks, I think I'll shop around."

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Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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A kid walks into a bar. He leaves wasted.

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Do they censor Ass? TESTING TESTING ASS ASS ASS

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It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

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A dog walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "why the long face?" The dog replies, "because I am a dog you idiot, my face always looks like this"

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Your mother is so fat, we needs two fat jokes to adequatly make fun of her.

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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What is the difference between a person with Alzheimer's and Aids? 24!

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What do you call a cow with no legs. Dead, the farmer cut them off.

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Billy and Joseph are playing Rock paper scissors. Billy says paper. Joseph proceeds to throw a rock as hard as he can at Billys face and sends him to the emergency room where he was later diagnosed with terminal testicular cancer.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer

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Why did the black man commit suicide last tuesday? he was just fired from his job, his sister passed away, and he became depressed

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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