Knock knock Who's there It's a policeman informing you that your parents have been killed in a car crash. Your Dad, who has been struggling with substance abuse and depression, found out his wife had been cheating on him, and in a drunken rage, wrapped the car around a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q:What happens when you mix Justin Bieber with a women? A: Well, since is a very highly impossible circumstance, I have no need to give a name for this.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is the french word for penis? I cannot say because I do not possess an adequate knowledge of the language.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: Whats A Schoolbus Full Of Black Children??? A: A Rotten Banana!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

y do black people always have nightmares because we killed the one who had a dream

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What has four legs one head but only one foot? A dog that was born with physical deformities.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Yo mama's so fat that when she steeped on the scale, it read a rather large number as compared to the average, healthy weight of the human race. Of course, she could become thin by working out or eating less, but she chooses not to because of the laziness that has now corrupted her completely.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why did the chicken cross the road? it doesn't matter, it got turned into KFC before it crossed.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -49

cool

thumb_up thumb_down -51

What is blue and roles about on the floor A baby playing with a plastic sack

thumb_up thumb_down -53

What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." He replies "BREASTS."

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red Violets are blue The sky is also blue

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats Brown and Sticky A) a stick

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: One is a person, one is a food.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops