So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

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An Asian girl is playing with a rubber band. She accidentally slings it into her eye, cries, and receives immediate attention from her mother.

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What do you call 5 black people being killed in a car crash? A terrible incident

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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Knock knock Who's there Your Mother Come in

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Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

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How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road.

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

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Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

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Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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What's funnier than 24? 9/11

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What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

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why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

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The man who invented the teleprompter has died at the age of 91. When President Obama heard the news, he was speechless.

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What happened to the Chicken who crossed the road? It made it to the other side!

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You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

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Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

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What's worse than a dead baby joke? A dead baby.

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One time there was a guy who jumped off a bridge and died

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WNBA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops