Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

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What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

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Robin, get in the car!

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If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

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What did the snoop dog have for breakfast? Weed

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Are we in Tennessee? Because I recently saw on the side of the road that it was 10 miles to Memphis.

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Why did the Titanic sink, even though people said it was unsinkable? Grit and determination.

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Q. Why is Obama stupid? A. That's an opinion, therefore i cannot answer that.

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how do stick a dead baby into a blender and why???????? feet first so u can see the reaction on top.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

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Why did the man eat his cellphone? Because he has a serious mental disability, and did not know that it was not a normal thing to do, and for anybody to laugh at him for doing something like this is just a sick person.

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What's red white, blue and hilarious? Glasgow Rangers in administration!

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Whats more worse than a dead baby? You shouldn't be thinking about dead babies or stuff worse than them, it is sad.

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I walked across a lake once. Someone said "JESUS CHRIST!" to which I replied with "YES?"

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw him

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Why was the little girl crying. Her dad wiped his bloody penis with her teddybear.

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Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

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What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

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I saw a woman get burned alive on the news... That woman was my mom.

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What's funny about a black person, a Jew, and a mexican's graves being side by side? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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