A blonde, a brunette and a red head are having a discussion on current issues. The brunette says she would like to see improvements in the environment. The red head says she would like to see the economy prosper. The blonde says she has to take a poop.

To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 beat the crap out of 8.

How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

why was the boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face

Friends are like trees. They fall when hit multiple times with an axe.

Why did Doris need a hip replacement Because she fell down the stairs

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A clown walking down the steet, trips -Ryan Vallee

What did the man say before he died? I am going to die.

How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

Why do catholic priests enjoy the company of boys? Because they must remain celibate and cannot have children of their own.

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Enough.

What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

What's funnier than 24? 9/11

Why did the boy lose his change? He had no Pants Why did the boy have no pants? The Holocaust

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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