Have you ever tripped over a leaf? No. Neither have I.

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What's white and horny? A unicorn

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Jane was playing in the back of the bus with an eyeball...up and down,up and down.An old woman asks her : Jane,what are you doing?She responds : I`m trying to see who`s the driver

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a semi.

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What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops