Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

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A man walks into me and I say: "WATCH IT PUNK!"

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Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

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Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ( The chicken says) I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having morals questioned.

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What is the difference between a black person and a pizza? Nothing, they both taste like chicken

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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Looks like this is a *puts on sunglasses* Pair of sunglasses

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Guess what? I like trains.

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What did the baby get for his birthday? An Abortion.

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What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

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Corn Muffins

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Laughter is the best medicine. Not for cancer.

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A guy watches TMJBtv on YouTube. He then shoots himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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