Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken

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Whats worse than getting an "F" on a test? Stage diving with a kilt on.

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whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

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Uh... No? Listen, the other 2 people that bother using this "site" (excuse for one) would not give a damn, and if some world government are after us they wont find shit. What? If I said no you would hack this site? My mother can hack this site, thats what makes it so useful for us... SO PLEASE DO NOT TELL EEEEEEEEEVERYONE THAT MY MORALS AND SHIT ARE ALL CODES THAT NOBODY HAS THE BRAIN TO DECODE PLEASE <<<<<<<<< *Sarcasm detector goes off* Seriously though, nah, dont hack nor delete anything, I kinda like how I got some thumbs ups on the comment section where I shared about my mother finally dying and me feeling the world against me great etc blahblah, "Erica" and "Wizard" thumbed those up and are now with us (seriously Wizard? Geek somebody?)

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit! I can talk too!"

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You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

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What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

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why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

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What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

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What did the black guy do in the hood? walked down the street, bought the paper and watched Letterman.

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what this: b a dead one of these: p

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What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

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What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

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What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

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Why did the Zombie kill and eat a man? Because it was hungry.

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What's worse than farting in front of your boyfriend? Farting on your boyfriends pillow and giving him pink eye.

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why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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What's the easiest way to get a cat out of a tree? Call the fire department and allow them to safely reach the cat and properly extract it from the tree while you watch from below.

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Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

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What's worse than the WNBA? The Cleveland Cavaliers.

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how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

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Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops