What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

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Why did hitler kill the Jews? Because he had sever mental illnesses and anyone who thinks the holocaust is funny deserves to die a slow death.

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Indians

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what is the best part about sleeping with twenty six year olds? they are usually very experienced in sexual intercourse so there isn't much awkwardness

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what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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Read a Book.

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And so he penguin said, The is my most casual outfit!" HAAAW

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Q: What's the difference between a Boyscout and a Jew? A: Boyscouts come home from camp.

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Why did the dog cross the road? Because he saw another dog

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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whats worse than having the flu? having cancer

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Why didn't the black man make it into heaven? No one did, there is no evidence supporting the existence of an afterlife.

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A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

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diarrhea.

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My wife's star sign was Cancer and its quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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A man walks into a bar. Since he was only moving at a slow walking pace, he was fine, no further events worth noting occured.

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A Black Guy, A Rabbi, And A Mexican walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says "Get Outta Here We're Closed!"

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Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

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Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

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Q: What is Fftp poort grtz gruxxyw? A: DYSLEXIA!

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What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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