What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

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Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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You had 10 bricks on an airplane, you throw one. How many do you now have? 9. How do you get the elephant in the fridge? Open the fridge put the elephant in. How do you get the giraffe in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in. There was an animal meeting, all animals were invited. Which animal was missing? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge. An old woman wants to cross a river that was full of crocodiles. How does she cross without getting eaten? The crocodiles were at the animal meeting, so she got across safely. She dies anyways. What happened? She was hit by the brick.

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What do you get when you put a frog in a paper shredder? Harshly punished by the Animal Humane Society

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Knock knock I'M IN THE BATHROOM !!

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Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

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A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he will grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish for a duck". POOF! He got a duck. Then he says "I wish for a penguin". POOF! A penguin magically appears. He thought long and hard for his 3rd wish. Then he said "I wish I had a turtle" POOF! Suddenly out of nowhere the genie disappears. The man looked inside the magic lamp and saw a small turtle. The end.

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What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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what is the difference between a boy scout and a jew? boy scouts come back from camp.

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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Q: What did the clam say to the postman? Moral: "Hey its me the worlds only talking clam! How you doing dude!"

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BOB: Hey look its spiderman Spiderman: IT'S MANSPIDER!!! Punch! Kick! Ouch!

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What's worse then 2 dead monkeys? 3 dead monkeys!

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wormly wormly sat on the worm theworm said wormly and went to warmly

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PS3 has the exerrent technorogy and finersse to make excerrent gaming such as... ...ITS RIDGE RACER! RIIIIIIIIIDGE RACEEEEEEEEEEEER!

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why couldn't the baker get a new car? Because he lived in a recession and nobody was buying his cakes.

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He was perfectly happy where he was.

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Your mother is so stupid because as a child, she was unable to keep up with what was being taught as she unfortunately had a learning disability.

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Knock knock stop knocking you idiot, it's the 21st century

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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