So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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A man walks into a bar. He then walks out of the bar a while after. He then goes home and goes to bed. And then he goes to sleep. And then in an odd time travel paradox,a T-Rex arrives from the past and kills him and his entire family.

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Whats cold and frozen? ice

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Where do babies come from? You fathers penis.

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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Your mama is so fat, we are all seriously concerned about her health.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.

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What did the monkey say to the lion? I'm being sexually abused by my handler, and feel so violated.

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What do you call a fish with no "i's"? A blind fish.

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Haunnaka in 1940's Germany. six thousand people die. in one minute.

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What dinosaur makes honey? The Bee Rex.

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What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

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Knock Knock! Whos there? The Game!

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If there are anti jokes why are there no uncle jokes?

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what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

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Where did Suzy go after the explosion? - Everywhere.

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Q: What would you think if a homeless person asked, "Spare change for drugs and cigarettes?" A: At least he was being honest.

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An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

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While getting Sherrie's Crabcakes I was arrested by Missy Hepp highway patrol.

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roses are red violets are blue ill keep u in my heart forever and ower baby to

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse does not say anything because its a horse and horses cannot talk.

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you can either take the test now or on monday. (hand movement)

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your mumma so fat when she stepped on the scales it said her phone number

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A japanese man enters a Honda dealership and is approached by an eager salesman. The salesman shows him a few models and then asks him curiously "What do they call Honda in Japan?" The japanese man answered "Honda"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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