A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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Q: What do you call a black person who got hit by a truck? A: Dead

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

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Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

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What did the blonde say when she saw a tan button on her calculator? That must mean tangent.

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

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your mom's so fat that even the biggest case of cancer couldn't brake through her flubber its so big

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what happened to the chicken who crossed the road he didn't realize that the light was green

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A man walks into a bar.. and has a bomb strapped to his chest

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Q: what happens if a black guy says hi person? A: he says hi person

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tea with milk?

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3 black guys are in the back of a car. Who is driving? A taxi driver

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How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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Knock knock. Who's there? Me. Oh.

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One afternoon, a man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my youngest son is gay." the man replies. "Wow that's bad buddy, I'll buy you the drink, on the house." Two weeks later, the same man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my second son is gay." the man replies. "Wow that's bad buddy, I'll buy you the drink, on the house." Two weeks later, the same man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my oldest son is gay." the man replies. "Doesn't anyone in your family like women?." the bartender asks. The man thinks about it. "Yeah, my wife."

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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What's worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Three men walk into a bar. The first guy bought two drinks, the second guy bought three drinks, can you guess what the third guy bought? A tazer.,

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A:Whats the air speed velocity of a swallow? B:What an african or English swallow? A:Well I don't know that.

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Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Two giant paint bubbles!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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