If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee and a zebra. A: A crossover between a chimpanzee and a zebra, mixed together.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

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A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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jasper walks into a bar, he sees an elephant and can't believe his eyes. he says "HORGWARSH!"

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A working black man, Santa, and the Easter Bunny where walking down the street and find a penny, who picks it up? The working black man, Santa and the Easter Bunny take no payment for their work.

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What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

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Whats Brown, Long and is on every black man? Legs

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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What's worse than The Holocaust? Nothing, The Holocaust was a dark and scary time.

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

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Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

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Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

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What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

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How did the boy escape the burning building? He didn't. He burned and when to hell like everyone else.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops