What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

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You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

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I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

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Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

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Two members of the KKK walk into the bar into a bar. The bartender asks, "what do you think of Obama?" One of the KKK members says "he is my President, I respect him."

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Why didn't the 12-year old boy eat his birthday cake? He has diabetes and would likely die from the increased spike in insulin.

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What did bob say when he was told his beloved parents were dying? "oh"

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why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

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Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Enough.

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whats worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Why did Doris need a hip replacement Because she fell down the stairs

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What did the boy skip rocks with? -A rock

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12345678910111213141516171819whatcomesnext

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Obama = ebola

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Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

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Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What did the chicken say to the cow? Cluck cluck Knock knock Who's there Chicken Chicken who? Chicken go cluck cluck, cow go moo Piggie go oink oink, how 'bout you?

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Why did the deer stop running? It was hit by a car

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A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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