Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

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Oh na na not today Oh na na maybe tommrow

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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"bluar blah blah blarRR/ the stupid pointless part" dead people/ animals/ objects can't talk/ drive/ operate compueter, lol I'm so focken funni

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Ya Mums so fat when she stood on the scales it came up with my phone number

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Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

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Knock knock Who's there Your Mother Come in

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Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

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If the shoe fits....... its probably your size.

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WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

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three white men are running after a black man,, the black man is winning the race

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whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

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what do German people eat at BBQ ' s ? burgers and hotdogs and kebabs and fried chicken with a garnish of summer salad washed down with a cold mouth tingling glass of coca cola and jews

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock eater,

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Q: what did the old man do to the little boy in his dark cellar while babysitting on a stormy night? A: told him to hold a flashlight because the power went out and he needed to find his electric generator.

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A car with three black people in it is driven off a cliff and everyone dies. Why is this a tragedy? Because it is always a tragedy when human life is lost.

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Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

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A man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink Bartender: Why the long face Man: My wife was recently killed in a horrible car accident Bartender: Oh my god, I'm so sorry Man: Jks I have AIDS

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What do you get when you cross your eyes? A headache.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

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What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

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What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

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How to you scare a paraplegic? Point a gun at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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