Denard Robinson

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he found out the oreo he slept with last night had aids and he wanted to make sure he didnt get the deadly disease so he went to the doctor to get tested.

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What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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How do you make a clown shut up? Throw a axe at it!!

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Why is facebook ruining all of the world's social skills? Because Mark Zuckerberg has Asperger's.

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what did the jew say to the other jew in WWII?..... "We're both going to die."

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What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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" Want to hear a good anti-joke?! " " Sure! " " Me too. "

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

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Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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