Why was the orphan's christmas sad? He got a violent chest infection and died.

How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch"

what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

I've just been struck by an enormous bolt of lightning. I am covered in boils and my house is full of frogs. I strongly recommend that when referring to God, always use the upper case 'H' on all personal pronouns.

What did the famer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!?!

What did batman say to robin before they entered the batmobile? Get in.

Error 37.

If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

Why isnt Gemma a Surfboarder? .. Because She was a Stillborn. Why isn't Kate a Ballerina? Because She's paralysed. Why isnt Tommy an Olympic High Jumper? Because He's a dwarf.

What do you call a black man with a guitar? His name

Why did the chicken itch it's bum? Cause it's bum was itchy

Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? Because he's dead.

Yo momma so pretty,she gets a lot of compliments.

That`s my friends phone, I can call you from mine too if you want, please just don't hurt me, let me speak to you, I promise I will explain everything.

why did the mexican cross the road? Becuase his other one was stolen by a Black.

Gay marriage is freaking gay.

Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

Q:What do you call a black priest? A: A great quality volunteer at a local church.

What's worse than hitting your funny bone on a chair............... Hearing one person say "its friday" then realizing that you are now singing

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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