- Anti Joke

I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

Why did the police officer arrest the baseball player? He raped and murdered a thirteen year old girl.

What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

A: Knock Knock (waits for an answer) oh there's no one in.

A woman sees a sign on a store that says "husbands for sale." Curious, she walks inside. The clerk says "These men will be perfect husbands, they'll cook and clean for you and see to your every need." Shocked, the woman calls the police and reports the store for human trafficking.

why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

Why does Beyonce sing "to the left, to the left"? Because that's where a box of everything you own is

wow such mark very mark many mark so mark

What do you say to a friend named Alex? The Game

Why is the baby on fire? Because there was a gas leak at the day care facility. It would have been a terrible tragedy had a heroic babysitter not come to the rescue.

"Knock Knock" "Whose there?" Someone who needs to consider not saying "Knock Knock" every time they are about to enter a building.

What do you call potato salad in Iceland? Edible. The fact that it happens to be in Iceland doesn't make a difference

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Error 37.

If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? Because he's dead.

What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

Why did the chicken itch it's bum? Cause it's bum was itchy

What do you call a black man with a guitar? His name