What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

Listen bitch, get over here, let me poke out your fucking eyeball, and then you tell me if it is reasonable or not to fucking be pissed afterwards! As for your goddamn technique, of course I understand it, I use it too, its the ironman method as far as I am concerned. Do not share it with people here, you can go share it with your little "shadow people" but that shit took years to develop. But yeah, you tell me whatever the hell you consider "reasonable" you get me the money, and then we can see about being "reasonable". I know many of your methods, NLP, hypnosis, covert, warm and cold reading, I know you are no fucking psychic nor do you read minds, stop telling me what the hell your "Order" is, because whatever the hell it is, your "Nero`s" have proven on this site alone, that its a laughingstock that in no way could have brought six hundred people towards liking you, even less six millions.

I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

What did the American man say to his brother right before his brother's wedding? You should not get married because most likely your marriage will end in a horrible divorice, which will ruin the rest of your pathetic life.

Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

A blond, burnette, and red head walk into a bar. They sit together and enjoy a few drinks while catching up on eachother's lives.

Youu might be a Jew if you........take part in a weekly service at your local synagogue.

I like your words "He without an equal, also stands alone was it?"

Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

What do you call a german soldier? A Nazi

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

What did Elmer Fudd say when Bugs Bunny got away again? "Oh, dat dawn wabbit, I'ww get it some day".

what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

a man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The Bartender says okay, here you go.

whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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