So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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What did one ginger say to the other? W are both gingers.

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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Has anyone else noticed that the very least popular and the most popular anti-joke on this site are both related to the Holocaust.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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Justin Bieber tries to get into a club but is not allowed because he is to young.

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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