POOP.....People Order Our Patties

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what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

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what do you say to the preacher when he walks into church? i dont fu***** know, im jewish.

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What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

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Why did the little girl with no arms an legs cry? Because she fell off the swing.

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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Next season on teen moms, Justin Bieber tells her story.

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Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

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Yo momma's so stupid... she scored poorly on on the SAT, failed to get into a good college, worked at a walmart and lived an otherwise mundane life.

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I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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Why 't the blonde dial 911? Because phones haven't had dials on them for at least 40 years or so. She can however punch it in on her keypad.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Someone chucked a fridge at her.

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Did you hear phonsi was Gay? I just found out too, he walked into the diner and said, "ive got AAIIIIIDS."

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

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Error 37.

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If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

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What do you call a black man with a guitar? His name

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A: Knock Knock (waits for an answer) oh there's no one in.

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A woman sees a sign on a store that says "husbands for sale." Curious, she walks inside. The clerk says "These men will be perfect husbands, they'll cook and clean for you and see to your every need." Shocked, the woman calls the police and reports the store for human trafficking.

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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Why is the baby on fire? Because there was a gas leak at the day care facility. It would have been a terrible tragedy had a heroic babysitter not come to the rescue.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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