my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

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What will you never see? A white Guy that can jump.

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whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

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the awkward moment when you kill everyone in school and blame it on the fat kid

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A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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Why did the mokey board the westbound train? I said gray umbrella noodle head!

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How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

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a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

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What is the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The word anti before anti-joke.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

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has anybody else just skipped to the short ones

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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