How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

why do police kill so many young black men in America? it's a difficult question that deserves a thoughtful response. many complex issues are at play, but we also feel a sense that something must be done. we cannot ignore some of the forces at work here, yet we cannot all personally take responsibility, either. or maybe he wanted to steal his girl. that shit really happens. THAT SHIT LEGIT HAPAPNES.

A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

why was the boy mad? He had a lot of homework that evening

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

Why aren't fish good at telling jokes? Their neural structure isn't capable of processing languages or creating a method of communicating with humans, thus they both do not know any jokes since they are incapable of understanding the concept of humour.

what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

What did the politician say to the other politician? We are both politicians.

why did the man beat his wife? why not?

do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

A man runs into a bar, sits down in a hurry and demands a beer from the bartender. The bartender looks at him wearily, but shrugs, pours him a beer and sets it down in front of him. The fat naked man then drinks the beer and leaves.

Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

what is worse than gay sex wiping your ass with sandpaper

There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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