A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a T-Rex? Humans are vertebrates belonging to the Mammalia class, chiefly a member of the species Homo sapiens; dinosaurs are chiefly terrestrial, herbivorous or carnivorous reptiles from the extinct orders Saurischia and Ornithischia.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a terrible ship crash that leaves them stranded on a desert island. All of their survival supplies sank with the boat so they don't last very long.

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i actually read the terms of service before i posted this

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin, "Sure is hot in here." The other muffin says, "AHHHH! A talking muffin."

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What do you get when you mix a refrigerator with a microwave? A refrigerated microwave.

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Why do people on this website suck? Because they are n i g g e r s and jews!

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A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

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Yellow People !!

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I typed in in a Anti-joke and realized it was kind of hard.

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And so the baseball says to the tractor........ Your not my dad

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What's white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? A refrigerator.

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Whats bent but straight for danielle? Joseph Plummer

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Why did the short man fall down the stairs? He got shot in the face with an assault rifle.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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A door walks up with a knob what does the guy do? he opens the door

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What has nine arms and sucks? Four children with two arms snacking on a lollipop, and one child with one arm snacking on a lollipop.

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What's more disturbing than finding an apple in your worm? The fact that you're eating a worm.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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what is black and is a really bad neighbor. your bad neighbor wearing a black shirt.

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Why did the retarted kids head get stuck in the window? It was a very small window

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a brick at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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