What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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you got Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and Reese Witherspoon. Which do you think is more succesful

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

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Roses are Red Violets are blue This joke isn't funny And neither are you!

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knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

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What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

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Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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whats the difference between ebola and a can of dead babies? i have ebola. this isnt funny at all.

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A guy punched himself. He then said ouch.

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

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Person 1: Happy Halloween! Person 2: Hey, I'm Jewish

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How many asian children does it take for Gary Glitter to get aroused? Just one.

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What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

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What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

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Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

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whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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Why doesn't Jonathan Walk across the road? Because he is in a wheelchair...

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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