What does a black guy get for Christmas? Everything you own

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

Did you hear about the boy with the treehouse? He caught his mom cheating on his dad in there.

What are the similarites between Autistic people and dead people? They are both very poor in social situations

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I can't remember. I have amnesia from when I was hit by a bus as a child.

So, I walked into my friends house and MAH DEDDEHS DECK was outside bruh

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

You know what's funnier than 24? 25

What's under there? I'm not falling for that one...

A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink.

If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

tennis grunts . . . no different from sex noises

What did one dinosaur say to the other? Nothing and if you think dinosaurs talk you might need to be diagnosed for having Schizophrenia. Invega is a subtle treatment.

why did the man cross the rode? He didn't he got hit by a bus

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Q: How Do you make a baby be quiet? A: slowly chop it's head off with a blunted axe once it's head is off eat it

Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so therefore i must be a pig

Q:Wanna know a funny joke? A:Womens Rights

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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