why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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Q : Who is the most famous celebrity, Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber? A : Neither, because they are just fads.

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Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk. Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

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why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

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Your mother is of a healthy weight and a pleasure to be around.

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If there are anti jokes why are there no uncle jokes?

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Why did the girl drop her sucker? she was hit by a truck!

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he frickin wanted to!!!!!!

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Why was the Mexican running? He was being chased by border patrol!

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What did Ghandi tell St Peter as he passed through the Gates of Heaven? He didn't. There is no afterlife.

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What is the difference between a pig and a crow? One is a animal that Is butchered to be eaten as a wonderful meat product. And the other is a pretentious asshole bird that no one likes.

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

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How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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Why do things made by Glen taste so good? Because he has mastered the cream

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Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

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a priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar...and the bartender goes...what is this a joke? mr. healey

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How did Sarah Offet win? He had no arms. Knock, knock? Whose there? Not Sarah Offet

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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Q: Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: Because he was hit by a bus, and then was raped violently. He is currently undergoing psychotherapy.

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A 16 year old boy and girl have unprotected sex. The girl becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby. They both drop out of high school, get lots of government cheese, and the boy holds a steady job as manager at the local mcdonalds for the rest of his life.

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What did the commentor say when he saw the "waht's worse than finding a worm in your apple...the holocaust." joke? I am offended to your cruel referance to worms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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