Whats better then free candy from a guy in a van? Trying to find his lost puppy so his kids don't cry.

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What smells like bananas but is invisible? Monkey farts

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Why did the blonde leave the lamp on while sleeping? Because it helps to see in case you need to get up in the middle of the night. YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SAY "BECAUSE THEY'RE A LIGHT SLEEPER!" MUAHAHAHAHAHA

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Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

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Roses are red , Violets are blue You little dumb ass bitch Ain't fuckin' with yoouuuuuu

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If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

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Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

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WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

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What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

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Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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who is really lanky? james cornish

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Why was Blue looking for her clue. She was drugged by a stranger and ended up inside of Mailbox.

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Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

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whats nun plus nun two nuns haha!! from jarod :}

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cock was on the other side.

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How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change the light bulb and two to file a lawsuit.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he was told he would never find a wife

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Q: Why didn't Little Jhonny go to school today? A: There was no school today.

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Q: why are black people so much darker than white people? A: genetics.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

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I have alzheimers and one day me and my nephew were............................

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B==========D-------------------------- im pissin man! god!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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