Why didn't the busy San Francisco business man hear his alarm clock ring this morning? A nuclear bomb blast occurred 700 meters from his front door. The estimated blast radius was approximately 100 square miles. Naturally, his alarm clock didn't make it.

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Why did billy have a frog stapled to his face? Because he was having a bad day.

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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Why can't the black guy read? Because he's blind.

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat it for being black.

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Why was the door opened? Because I opened it

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Where was Suzy during the explosion? Everywhere! Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

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A man walks into a bar He wakes up from his coma 21 years later and learns that humans now serve pumpkins as gods.

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Q: Knock - Knock A: NO SOLICITORS!

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CAOIMHIN JUST BE QUITE

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How did the corpse cross the road? They can't cross the road they're dead.

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What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

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What do you call a dumb friend? Sam.

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2 penguins in a tub. one looks to the other an says, "pass the bar of soap." the other looks at him.."what do you think i am, a typewriter?"

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Why are black people so ghetto? because they live in the ghetto

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A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face" The horse responds "My daughter has cancer"

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Why was OJ Simpson's knife covered in blood? Because he just murdered his wife.

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

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whats worse than catching your parents having sex? having sex with your parents

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On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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