Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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If u give brandon a stick he will most likely poke u

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Why wasn't 7 afraid of 6? Numbers are numbers and therefore incapable of feeling any emotion.

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what did rishi say to jess ? GOOD ONE

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There were two bagels sitting on a table in Denny's. One bagel turns to the other and says, "So how did that job interview go?" The other replies, "It went great, thanks".

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Incidentally,on the subject of friends, when do you actually classify someone as a friend? Is it: When you have been to each others' house; When you have had an intelligent conversation more than once; When you have stayed for dinner; Or perhaps simply when each has decided that the other is worth the air that they breathe? [L]

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Why did the Mexican mow lawns? He needed money to pay for his college tuition.

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Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

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What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

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Why does the cow eat grass? A: Because it's green. (Cows are colorblind)

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Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

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How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change the light bulb and two to file a lawsuit.

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Nothing. Blackberries grow on bushes and I do not condone hate crimes.

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what happened to the kid who opened the goldfish? he got eaten by a cixelsyd dinosaur

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Q: a man in a camry runs over his wife. who's fault is it? A: toyota and their breaks.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

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Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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