What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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A woman woke up next to her husband that was already awake. She said "F*** you" and walked out of the house. On the other side of the world, a horse is giving birth to a chihuahua.

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Why didn't the baby come to daycare? Because his mother got killed by spongebob

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Tunechi

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Roses are red violets are blue i have HIV you should probably get yourself checked...

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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what did the philosopher say, when he considered the transient nature of life in relation to ones own personal and egocentric grasp upon circumstance and purpose? massive erection.

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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what do u say to a man walking down the street nothing, u shouldnt talk to strangers

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Man goes to the doctors, says doctor, im depressed. ive tried everything but i just cant see the bright side of life anymore, it seems empty to me, like theres no point in existing. The doctor certifies the man as clinically depressed and alerts the relevant authorities.

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What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

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how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

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Why didn't the man get into Harvard? Because he had bad grades

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What do you call a black person doing labor for other people? A good friend.

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Person1: wanna hear a joke? Person2: yeah Person1: ok

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A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

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What would you call a two-foot Irishman named Max? Max.

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how many milkshakes does it take to bring all the boys to the yard?

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Jim: Kevin, how old are you? Kevin cries because they are twins. His Brother was hit in the head with a bat yesterday and does not remember anything.

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what do you call a white man in a black neighborhood a minority

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why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

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roses are red, violets are blue, get on your knees ho, and stick to me like glue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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