What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

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What do you call a zebra eating Cheerios? A zebra eating Cheerios.

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How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

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q- what do you call a small number of black people running away from a large group of white people? a- every marathon known to man...

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what has two feet and is black all over? your mom after she died in a horrific house fire.

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what's the difference between a jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your nuts with a jew.

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Gay republicans

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Roses are red Violets are blue My head itches I'm going to get this guy to itch it for me

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

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A girl walks into a strip club, she was tired of her husband and wanted to see how it was actually done.

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homosexual rights to marriage

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What did the student say to the teacher, after being assigned homework? This isn't my best subject, can I stay after class for tutoring?

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

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So a Jew is walking on the street and he sees a penny, and he decides to pick it up because ever since the fire that killed his family and burned his house down he has been living on the street and he needs all the help he can get.

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How many omish people did it take to screw in a lightbulb.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is deceased, therefore rendering her incapable of movement, which is required to drive a vehicle.

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Q: What do you call a nun in a wheelchair A: Handicapped.

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What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

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Q:What did the duck say to the other duck A:We are both ducks

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my brother yells at me for singing in the shower so i scream "how can you hate from outside the tub when you cant even get in?"

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What is green, walks on four legs, and is capable of the strongest bite in the world? An alligator.

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There is a horse sitting at a bar, and the bartender says MOTHER OF GOD!! What is this horse doing in here?!

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Wenn Sie dies zu übersetzen, dann ist dein ein Esel

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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