A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

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Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

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What rude names do you call a girl with no limbs? Anything you want they can't touch you

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Whats Stupider than john? Nothing.. he's certifiably retarded

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

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what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

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How are Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga similar? They are both men except Justin Beiber

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Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

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Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, hes allergic to it.

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Why did the blonde leave the lamp on while sleeping? Because it helps to see in case you need to get up in the middle of the night. YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SAY "BECAUSE THEY'RE A LIGHT SLEEPER!" MUAHAHAHAHAHA

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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What did the driver have when he got hit by another car? An accident.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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Why was the little boy sad? -Because he was on Fire.

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Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

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How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

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Why was the blonde confused? Because someone was dressed in a chicken costume throwing pinecones at her.

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What did the tooth brush say to the toothe paste? Minorities.

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steven hawking walks into a bar

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What color is the orange? Grey, I'm color blind.

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Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

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Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

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why did the small boy drop his ice cream ? because he has no hands

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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