Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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"What's long, black, and smelly?" "The unemployment line." Upon hearing his boss tell this joke, the accountant files a complaint with human resources and the boss must attend several work training classes to develop a better sense of racial awareness and compassion. The workplace soon becomes a much less threatening environment for all people.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Want to hear something funny? Sure, what? 9/11

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who else is on here?

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"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

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Wenn Sie dies zu übersetzen, dann ist dein ein Esel

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Q: Whats the best part of a bald pussy? A: After you put the diaper back on you perv!

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-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

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I started a pottery course where the two instructors looked like Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze. The only other student looked like Whooping Goldberg. This teacher to student ratio proved invaluable as I am hoping to make a living as an artist and really appreciated all the extra attention.

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What is black, white, and red all over? The Wall

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Your mom is so old she is significantly more identifiable in a crowd of middle-aged men and women.

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What's the differece between a rock and a black guy? A rock can't eat fried chicken.

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If polar bears were pink they'd be very easy to find

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Hey, what do you call Sarah Palin? A Republican.

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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Whats funny about a man in a pink leotard ? Nothing infact i think he's very brave

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Hey, you why you say poo poo nae nae watch me whip, and do the dougie, and then happy halloween? Potato Salad

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Why did the american block the road? Because he just ate at Mc donalds.

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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What do you call a woman between two houses? Her name.

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Whats the difference between dinosaurs and skittles? Dinosaurs were killed out hundreds of thousands of years ago when skittles on the other hand are sugery candy that people eat when they are craving a sweet treat

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What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

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What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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