Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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Knock Knock Who's there? Tank tank who? You're welcome

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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A man asked a horse "Why such a long face?" The Horse replies "My entire family just died in a plane crash."

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Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

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Blacks

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Women.

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Barack Obama. Ok, come on in Mr. President!

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How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

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Person 1: Happy Halloween! Person 2: Hey, I'm Jewish

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12345678910111213141516171819whatcomesnext

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What did the man say before he died? I am going to die.

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Why didn't the 12-year old boy eat his birthday cake? He has diabetes and would likely die from the increased spike in insulin.

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Why did Doris need a hip replacement Because she fell down the stairs

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How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

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Whats big and blue and white and if it falls from a tree its sure to kill you. A fridge with a denim jacket on.

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How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops