There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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Why did the white man rub the black man's hair for good luck? Because it's good luck to rub a black man's hair.

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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What's red and silly? A blood clot

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What is a chinese person in your house? A human being

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Why did Hitler cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways. Only after practicing proper safety procedure did he venture across the busy thoroughfare to retrieve his asthma medication from his car.

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What do you call a diving-board factory worker threatening to jump off the roof? Names.

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Jingle bells, batman smells, robin laid an egg.

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Knock knock. Who's there? President. President who? The President of the United States.

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Three blind mice walk into a bar, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative

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The chicken came before the egg. Because eggs are an unborn chicken, and it is impossible for an unborn chicken to ejaculate.

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How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

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What do you call a fat legless over weight black man called Tom. Tom.

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Penis

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What did the man say to hitler? hi hitler.

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What does AIDS stand for? Acquired immune deficiency syndrome

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Why did the man break into the bank? Because he was a bank robber

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What do a large mouth bass and my wife have in common? They are both in the Animal kingdom, both are vertebrates and they share many other traits such as eyes, a notochord, and epaxial/hypaxial musculature.

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What is a cow's favorite place to go? The slaughterhouse.

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What did Sally get for Christmas? Nothing, Sally is dead

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Come in!

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? You don't, Pikachu is a fictional character therefore doesn't exist

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What's brown, hairy and goes up and down? A kiwifruit in an elevator.

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What's worse than getting raped? Getting raped twice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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