Why was the baseball player arrested after stealing a base? Because he pulled out a knife and stabbed the shortstop in the chest.

What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing, rocks are inanimate objects, therefore rendering them unable to participate in the activity of speech.

Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

Carlton

The government makes a good decision

Why did the dog run away from home? His house burned down and his owners were killed.

When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

Q: How do you fit a giraffe inside a refrigerator? A: You can't, it is physically impossible...

I like boys!!!!! CC

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

Wher did suzy go after the explosion? everywhere

Why did man push another man off of a building? Because he is a homocidal maniac and should be in federal prison

A black man walks into a bar, to get a drink.

What is the difference between men and women? Several physical functions such has the reproductive systems, bone structure, and voice pitch.

Do you want to hear a joke? Sure. Justin Bieber is straight.

fart

Whats worse then a Republican? 9/11.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot turned into a loaf of bread.

There once was a genie With a sevenfoot weenie And he went to the lady next door She thought it was a snake So she hit it with a rake And then he murdered the shit out of her.

Yo mama so fat that her weight is starting to tear her and your father apart.

What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? *awkward silence* What did the deaf guy say to the mute guy? *Awkward silence....huh?*

Knock Knock Why are you knocking? I have a doorbell.

Why did Justin Bieber smile in his mug shot? He did not understand the consequences of his horrible actions that could have killed many innocent men, woman, or children and, in jail, there could be very dangerous people living there.

A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender says, "Why the long face?" and the horse says, "I have cancer."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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