I you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

Why did the man burp? Because gases escaped from his stomach and came out of his mouth.

What's big, black and long? The line in KFC

What's the problem with blonde people? They don't have black hair.

What's a four letter word that ends with "rape"? Stop.

What's the difference between a baby and a pineapple? Pineapples were not shot by nazis during the holocaust.

What happened to the chicken who crossed the road ? Quite obviously he got to the other side to be greeted by a 50 foot half man half chicken who had one leg.

Why did the groom have cold feet? Because his socks were slightly damp resulting in evaporation and the cooling of his feet, as well as the cold weather in December.

Knock Knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave's crying because his grandmother has alltimers and now can't remember his name

Why did the man fall over screaming? Because he got shot in the leg

Whats big, hairy, and super long? My big toe you pervert.

Q:What do you call a dog with no legs? A:It doesnt matter he's not gonna come

Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

Why is the sky red in London? Fire.

Three nuns were talking in the church. The first nun said, "I was looking in the Priest's desk and found a condom." The second nun said, "I saw also saw that condom, except I poked holes in it." The third nun promptly reported them to the Priest causing the first two nuns to lose thier jobs.

i like potatoes But only mashed baked are a little bad they arent tasty. I like food good because food bad can really hurt me

What's white and black and red all over? Slaughtered Cows.

A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She was shot Knock knock Who's there? Sally Aren't you dead? Oh yeah K Well imma go be dead now Have fun K

what is white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? a refrigerator.

how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

Goat balls.

A man sees a giant talking frog walk into a store. He later dies due to an overdose of LSD.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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