You.

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roses are red, Violets are blue, i have a gun, Suck my dick

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What do you call a person trying to save his interprise from partaking in a financial collapse by binging on alcohal? An alcoholic.

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penis

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whats bigger than a 4 school bus pile up? genocide.

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why did abby get fired? cause she showed allie anti joke.com!!! :0

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Why did a hipster walks into a health food store? To buy some healthy food.

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what happened to the man who ran straight into a brick wall he bounced off it, fell back, stumbled. he lifted his head up, looked at it, put his arm to his head. got up, groaned, dusted himself down, and walked towards the pub.

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Why did the homosexual rapist walk into the pizza shop? Because he was hungry after a long day of raping little boys.

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o | ,'~'. / \ | ____|_ | '___,,_' .----------------. | ||(o |o)| ( KILL ALL HUMANS! ) | ------- ,----------------' | _____| -' \ '####, ------- /________\ ( ) |) '_ ' ,------|\ _ /_ / | |_\ || /_ /| | o| _\ _|| /_ / | | |\ _\____//' | ( ( | | | (_,_,_,____/ \ _\ | ------| \ _\|_________| \ _\ \__\\__\ |__| |__||__| ||/__/ |__||__| |__||__| |__||__| /__)/__) /__//__/ /__//__/ /__//__/. .' '. '. (_kOs____)____)

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Paris. Paris who? Paris, France.

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james schmitt whats your last name

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Blonde hair is the result of having two recessive alleles for hair color in your genotype. There is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

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Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

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Whats the worst thing that happened in the holocaust? it ended

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what do you do when you see a priest in a bar? tell him that is un richeous and he shall pay for his sins right before you kill him

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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Why did the 1,000 pound woman start crying? Because her son got hit by a car.

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Would I ever lie to you? No, because lying is bad.

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A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he felt the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies,"You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Whats black and white and red all over? An interracial aborted fetus

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Why did the girl not apply for her American CItizenship? She was already an American Citizen.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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