Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

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barack osama

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Q: What do you call a unicorn on a mountain? A: Freaking sick.

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A boy and a girl are playing catch. Why did the girl drop the ball? She had no arms. So why did the boy throw her the ball if she had no arms? Cause he's a Dipshit

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Do you want to hear a joke? Sure. Justin Bieber is straight.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Shes dead.

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A farmer goes out to the coop to feed the chickens. They're all dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

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What did the cow say to the farmer? 'Moo.'

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What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

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Where must you go if you have the desire to eat somebody's face? A psychiatric ward. You are clearly going insane and must seek help.

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What smells like curry and bombs? A dead Indian

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Why'd the girl commit suicide? Because Justin Bieber admitted he was gay.

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What did the man with paranoid schizophrenia say? I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia.

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How many jews do you need to change a lightbulb? -One.

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What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What is worse but similar to Jenga? The September 11th attacks.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar He sits down and has some trouble reading the menu but orders a beer

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What is the black mans favorite color? -Time for you to get a watch

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar..... Wait..... How?

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What did the man say to hitler? hi hitler.

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Hey Patrick Yea? I found something funnier then 24 Give to me buddy 25

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What did the mother give her family for christmas? Nothing. The family is Jewish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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