a Mormon knocked on my front door three times, and i took three seconds to answer, whe shook hands for three seconds. how many dead kittens can fit in my blender?

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Your momma's so fat, that if the word for fat was "plachow" I'd say "yeah your momma, she's a little bit plachow."

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What is black, white, and red all over? Obviusly a sunburned panguin.

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Q. What's black and white and red all over? A. Certainly not a newspaper. Nobody reads those anymore.

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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

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Knock Knock! we have a door bell ...ding dong. its broken.

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What do you call a diving-board factory worker threatening to jump off the roof? Names.

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A white guy and a black guy are standing in a room. Which one of them is a murderer? I don't know, there is not enough information given in the question. However, according to Bureau of Justice murder statistics over the last 30 years, the black guy is 7.6 times more likely to be a murderer than a white guy in the United States.

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What do you call Magic Johnson in a wheel chair? A tragedy, especially considering his past struggles with HIV.

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A kid is Jackin off and his dad walks in and says if you keep jackin off you will loose your sight. the kid says dad im over here.

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What did the pig say to the banana? Oink.

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What did the man with paranoid schizophrenia say? I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia.

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What's better than winning the Silver Medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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Jingle bells, batman smells, robin laid an egg.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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What do you call a man who just died 5 minutes ago? Dead.

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How did Hitler like his steaks? He didn't like steaks, he was a vegetarian.

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why did the chicken cross the road? why do you care?

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What did the teacher say to the student who stepped on a rusty nail? You have to go to the Nurse's Office to get a band-aid- I don't have any.

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Q. How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. Lets go ride bikes

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What's black and white and red all over? Lots of things, including certain ugly clothing.

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my girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile, thats a big word for a 3 year old

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What do you call a bunch of balck men running down a hill. A bunch of balck men running down a hill.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I kicked it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops